Thursday, June 30, 2005
Bird Droppings & The Male Exaggeration
Exercise: 60 push ups, 75 leg lifts, & 240 crunches
During my morning commute over the last couple of day, I managed to catch some research results that I thought I would share. Yah I know you're just chomping at the bit with anticipation don't try to deny it! :P
The first bit of statistical data concerns birds and their color choice when it comes to their dumping grounds. According to a study done, birds are more likely to dung drop on white cars than any other color. Supposedly it has something to do with the majority of their predators being white. Personally I'm not sure I but this theory. My car is black & lemme tell you there are days (lots of times those following an extensive hand washing) that the little bastards have no trouble finding my car over the white ones that sit in the lot at work. My thought is that they don't have a color preference but rather an attraction to the "bling bling".
The second bit of information puts to rest the age old exaggeration guys like to throw out about their unit size as if saying it's larger than it is will make every available woman on Earth want to sleep with them and those women will never discover the truth. According to what was discussed, the average guy in a non aroused state is 1.6in. On the other hand, many guys have been known to say that they are 5.1in in said circumstance. Get real!
And now for something completely different.....
I sat through a second torturous episode of Hit Me Baby One More Time. This one featured Juice Newton, Animotion, PM Dawn, Shannon, and Missing Persons. Obviously the people in the audience who voted don't do so according who can actually sing. Juice and Shannon were the only ones that could carry a note yet the host of the show said that tonight's vote was the closest yet and PM Dawn won. Yep, it's official those in the audience are either experiencing side effects from all the drugs they took in the 80s or they are completely tone deaf. Oh yah Dale Bozzio from Missing Persons should never be allowed to sing Kylie Minogue's song Can't Get You Out Of My Head let alone any other song again and PM Dawn - keep them AWAY from the Nickelback songs PLEASE!!! My ears have had to join a twelve step therapy program in order to recover from the damage done by these two "artists" this evening.
Red Dwarf is on so I'm outta here.
Til next time....
Knocked Off By The Fashion Diva
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