Wednesday, January 12, 2005
The Neighborhood Vampire Is Also The Village Idiot
There's this guy that lives in the house on the opposite end of our street. He seems to only come out in the late day/evening hours so I call him the Neighborhood Vampire. Ant and I have never met him and I'm not sure either of us want to because the urge to choke the living shit out of him might be too great for either of us to control.
I'm sure at this point many of you are asking why we would want to harm this man since he sounds tame enough right? I agree. Keeping different hours isn't crazy enough to justify wanting to off somebody, BUT when that somebody decides revving a Harley at 2am during the summer months to the point of rattling the neighbors' windows and waking them up from a sound sleep is perfectly acceptable, the picture quickly changes. The annoyance doesn't stop there though. One evening when Ant was coming home from work, he drove around the corner where this guy lives in his usual speedy fashion (boys will be boys when it comes to their sports cars ). Evidently it was too fast for the Vampire. He happened to see Ant and yelled at him. Ok so he probably deserved a talking to but from what Ant said, he was over the top.
The event that became the "cincher" to proclaiming this man as Village Idiot Vampire came yesterday when I was driving home from work. The weather wasn't overly great but the commute was a smooth ride. Most of the roads I travel were only wet but it's a much different story when you get to our neighborhood. There is still snow all over because dumbass snowplow man doesn't know what he is doing and the drizzle only complicated the navigation of the mess he left. Anyway, when I get back to our little corner of town, The Vampire was right behind me - was surprised to see him out so early in the day (bahaha). This very man who lectured The Englishman on "safety" was riding my ass so tight, he would have been up in and God only knows where else if I had stopped quickly - FUCKER!
Knocked Off By The Fashion Diva
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